Family members share their intimate thoughts and feeling about the their loved ones' journey. Discover the emotional journey of a newly recovered addict.
Paying forward their experiences to help another find hope in theirs.
My name is Cathy and I was married to an alcoholic, and this is my story
Tell us about how your story started.
I was married to him for almost 20 years. I married him even though I knew that he had an addiction problem. I always thought that there was a chance that he would stop when he said he would stop, it’s interesting how quickly you start believing that you can fix someone just because you love them.
Do you recall one of your darkest moments?
The hardest thing was being completely powerless to his addiction, there was absolutely nothing that I could do. I thought that being there and giving him chance after chance was the right thing to do, since addiction is a disease. Instead, what I thought would fix him, prolonged and even encouraged him to continue to manipulate, lie and make promises. I always knew when he would tell me lies and when he was honest, but I learned it was easier to “believe” him. I didn’t realize at the time that with him being sick, it’s like any other sickness, the more you’re around those people, the more that it affects you, and in the case of addiction I also became sick. This mental illness that I acquired was, in itself, an addiction.
What is your story today? How are you coping in recovery?
He would drink, he would lie… I would threaten to leave he would promise he wouldn’t do it anymore, and I would forgive him, and then things were back to normal and happy for a while, but the cycle continued. Unfortunately, I let it get to a point where it really started to affect my son. It took me 20+ years to finally leave, today I speak with sincerity .
Thank you, Cathy, for sharing.
My name is ......, and this is my story.
Tell us about how your story started.
Returning home after alcohol treatment was a journey into the unknown. I hadn’t had an adult life without alcohol! You are ready to get home, but scared and apprehensive at the same time. It’s a homecoming for the new you yet it’s also a you that you haven’t known in two decades in my case. What is life going to be like without your old faithful crutch of alcohol?
Knowing what you know now, what words of support would you tell yourself then, at that moment?
You are proud of having completed treatment and excited to show off the new you but you also know that you are stepping back into the wake of the destruction you left behind. Will they take me back? Are they still mad at me? How am I going to relax and blow off steam now? Will my friends still want to hang out with me now that I don’t drink? Will I want to hang out with them?
The pink cloud moments of sobriety will come ago but beginning the new phase of my life without drinking and building new experiences without alcohol you can’t prepare for without taking the leap and doing it.
What is your story today? How are you coping in recovery?
I like the quote that my sobriety coach once told me. “Sometimes you just need to step into the fire!” The people that truly care about you will support you if they see you putting the work in.
Thank you for sharing.
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